{10 years in Glory...}

Today will forever be the day that The Lord taught me that, in all circumstances, His will is worth the cost of my comfort...and, as much as it hurts and my heart longs for Heaven on this day and many more, I am thankful.  Not thankful that I've buried my own flesh but thankful that, on this very day 10 years ago, He gave me a choice...and because of who I am in Him, I chose to die to my own desires and let His plan be greater in my life.   Holding on to the anger and rage and bitterness of what He allowed is too much.  I had to choose greater...both for my sake and my family. There's no false joy in my daughter's death here...just joy in Christ.  And because He is everything to me, it is ok...even and especially when it may not look like it should be.  

So, yes, I wept with 3 of my 5 babies around Annabelle's grave today.  I've told them countless times that tears are never a sign of weakness but rather a sign of the depth of your love. They know that I hurt deeply and always will...but what they also know is that their mother will never allow the Enemy to win this one.  I will continue to fight because I am more than a conqueror in Christ.  And because my inheritance is in Him...in what He did for me in the completed work on the Cross.  

I truly adore that Jesus took her Home right around Resurrection Sunday and that most years I'm so focused on Holy Week that it only serves to strengthen me in this season.  

So there's a mess of laughter and tears around here today...and while we were visiting her special place the kids raced across to our first girl's spot...with all the maintenance men working on the lawns getting a kick out of someone actually coming out there and having fun.  I'm sure it's not your typical visit but it's what we do.  And I'm pretty sure a sweet little doll baby is smiling just watching as she sits cradled in the arms of the Almighty.  

10 years...this one is harder than I thought...proof that time doesn't heal all wounds...but I don't believe this one was ever intended to be healed this side of Heaven.  I leaning on you, Jesus...my Everything...today and always.