I can’t believe it’s nearly the end of January again. I think I subconsciously go into some sort of stop mode after Christmas…just pretending that time isn’t moving forward. I know it’s coming but I surely don’t want to face it again. Not without her…here…in my arms…and filling our home with all things pink.
I confessed to a dear friend the other week that I let the boys pick out a little girl toy, My Little Pony, just to have something girly in our cart. I had forgotten about it and thought that maybe I was being silly for even getting it. Sure enough, next thing I know Luke has opened it up and it’s in the mix with all the cars and trucks that he plays with during schooltime. I left it there. It’s a little reminder that there still is a little girl in our family…we just don’t have her physical presence with us right now.
Wyatt made a count down list last week. Only 11 days until Annabelle’s birthday is where he began. Then, he drew pictures of what we are going to do on her birthday. I cried just looking at it. He, on the other hand, is thrilled. He knows how much of a fuss I make over birthdays around here and he’s definitely inherited those genes. Ironic how he’s the one now encouraging me…
Since Scott and I will be running the 10K, my sister offered to walk the 5K portion of the race with Wyatt. He was so excited that he unframed a wallet picture of his baby sister and has had it sitting on his dresser to tape on his pink shirt for the race. After the race, he drew a cupcake on his count down list…because that’s a tradition around here. ;) Lots of cake on birthdays…and he’s making sure Belle gets hers.
My three boys and I cuddled up in bed this morning and spent time each sharing what we want to do for her birthday next Saturday. Luke wants “red cake”, Wyatt wants for our family to “just spend time together”, Scott wants to release balloons at her special place…and I just want to make it through the race without losing it altogether.
We don’t love facing another birthday without her here but we’ll still celebrate it…we’ll face it together as a family…we always have and always will.
And, we know above all else, that she certainly is celebrating in Heaven… and before we know it, we’ll be celebrating together.