My darling girl~
Today you are 7. And my heart aches just as much today as it did the day you left us. Some say that time heals, but I'm convinced that time hasn't done anything more than given the pain more time to dig deeper into the depths of my longing soul. You are missed tremendously...beyond any word I've ever known or studied or could define. You are missed.
Still we celebrate here in our little family knowing yours is the ultimate party. And your big brother humbly reminded your Daddy and I of that as we embraced and wept this afternoon for you. He said he was happy...and that we should be, too. He knows you are perfect and we will be with you again and that you would want us to be happy as well.
Your baby brother, on the other hand, has grieved like we've never seen before. He talks about you all the time. He asks questions about you and wants to know when you are going to come back down and if he can send you a toy in Heaven. He had to be the one to help with your cake and made me promise to save the sprinkles for him to put on. He prayed after Wyatt at dinner tonight and they both broke our hearts into pieces. Luke asked God to help him know you. Wyatt thanked God for Eternity. Both so innocent and yet so mature...their hearts are changed through you, baby girl.
We introduced your little sister to how we celebrate your birthday. A den full of pink and red balloons when she woke up from her nap were surely her favorite. She took in each and every moment of watching us sing "Happy Birthday" to you and went with me to visit your special place.
I'm learning that trust is truly the hardest lesson to learn. It is a constant belief put into action...having faith and putting it to work. Knowing... even when I'm hurt and questioning His plan and raw with grief...that God always comes through. That I can trust Him. That He is faithful. That He truly did pay it all and has prepared a Place for us to be together again. And that you, precious Annabelle, dwell there with Him now. Your momma is trying. Days like today make it even harder...but I begged Him...I cried out to Him in the 7 year anniversary of the minute you were born this morning for His strength...and...well, He provides. He's walked us through so very much and carried us through more. There is no room for my selfishness when compared to His glory. Yet I fail miserably and fall down on my knees again in awe of the One who is worthy and learn to lean in and trust even more.
You are adored always, my Belle...and celebrated on the day God gave us you.
Another year older. Another year closer.
Happy Birthday, my angel girl...
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."