Thursday, May 26, 2011

Why I haven’t blogged…

I can’t tell y’all the number of times I have thought “I really need to update the blog” here lately.  I can’t say that there is one reason why I haven’t but I can honestly say that it’s just seemed right not to lately- aside for a few fun pictures. ;) 

I find that I am getting more and more comfortable in this “new” normal.  Don’t get me wrong- it hurts deeply when someone says “oh, you just have the two boys” (only after assuming Luke is a girl and then Wyatt correcting them that he is in fact a boy…trust me, that is in no way persuading me to cut his curls either).  Sometimes I let it slide, but mostly I tell them that I have a girl, too.  She’s just living in Heaven now but thanks to Jesus we will have her again.  It’s a long story even when I share the nutshell version.  I don’t feel Annabelle’s life can be summed up in a mere few sentences so sometimes I just choose not to.  Other times, I want to share even when I know that whomever I am crossing paths with will end up leaving the conversation heartbroken and sorry for me.  I really don’t want that either. 

I finally did something I had been wanting to do for a long time.  I ordered the blog in book form.  I ordered a book for each year.  I haven’t had the time to scrapbook like I used to so for now I figured printing the blog could be a substitute.  Besides, I always spent too much time decorating the scrap pages to ever leave much space for journaling anyhow.  I would much rather my children and grandchildren hear my voice through the stories I have shared than see beautifully decorated pages with three pictures on it. ;) 

I love having those books now.  Scott and I have gone back and read quite a bit.  I have been astonished at some of the things I wrote actually.  It’s so clear to me that those were HIS words and not my own in those times.  I am so thankful He prompted us to begin this blog…that is just another reason why.

There’s another thing, too…we’ve been busy!  We wrapped up first grade a couple of weeks ago and then I ended up having to have surgery (more on that in another post…God’s still working on me with that one).   We spend every spare moment splashing around outside in this southern heatwave we’ve been having (seriously, the weatherman said the other night that we were going to have a cooling down weekend…it’s supposed to only be 91!)  We have two pool parties planned for this weekend and another one for next weekend.  Oh, yes pictures are soon to follow!  We are so grateful to use our home to serve others.  That’s been good for me in more ways than one, too.

But, I believe that the biggest reason that I haven’t had much to say on here lately is that I am probably more at peace than I’ve been in years.  God has settled my heart.  It is still broken just pieced back together with little holes here and there.  Restored and soon to be Redeemed.

I truly believe the healing never is finished…not on this side of Eternity.  But, oh how thankful I am that I know the Healer and will one day meet Him face to face with my baby girl in His arms!  That’s what keeps me going…

(Okay, perhaps I needed to blog more than I knew…off to grab the kleenex!) 

6 comments:

The Price Family! said...

Such a beautiful blog! And how amazing that your life story has touched so many people!

Miller Family said...

Glad you put your blog into a book! My family has enjoyed reading our blog in the book form and it too has been the substitute for family scrapbook. I still scrapbook for the boys' their special items and such. Have you read "Heaven is for Real"? It is a great, quick read and I recommend it to everyone! I wish we were having 90 degree heatwaves. We are trying to get going on 1st cutting hay and the warm day window is very little with more rain in between. But God IS Good and we are so blesssed with everything we have. Great to catch up with you and your family. Hugs to you !!! and belated birthday wishes to your sweet boys!

The Simmons Family said...

Never cut Luke's precious curls! :) Love them! I'm glad you got your blog printed.. I need to do this so bad. What program did you end up using?

Have a great weekend full of pool fun! Can't wait to see pictures!

Jessica said...

It's always a blessing to read the thoughts you post here. :) Thank you for all that you've shared!

Please, please would you facebook message me where you ordered the blog book? I'd love to do that as well!

Linnea said...

I just found your blog today. First, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure you hear that a lot. Its so generic, I'm sorry. I dont know what to say.

Also could you please let me know how you ordered your blog as a book. I would love to do that to mine.

For now, I am going to get back to reading your blog through my childrens nap.

Be blessed

Ashlee
http://ourjourneytoadoption.beckfamily143.com/

KC said...

I am so glad that you got the blog printed!! You have written such beautiful words on this blog that have touched so many people...including me! I love the pictures too!