Monday, April 13, 2009

Just as He had planned...


After a beautiful and moving service yesterday morning at church, we went to visit Annabelle's special place. We usually change out her hairbow, freshen up her flowers and just tidy up her little spot. We put her Easter bunny bow on last week and I thought we'd leave it just one more week before changing it. We still went to visit...eventhough our almost 5 year old son reminded us just as soon as we got there that "she's not here". I found it interesting that in 54 weeks of visiting her special place at least once, he has never said that she's not there. He understands that her body is behind the granite stone. He will occasionally try to yell to her through the cracks or, once, took his little toy hammer and knocked asking if anyone was home (Scott said he was running if someone answered). He knows that her spirit, the part that really matters, is safe in Jesus' arms. It was only appropriate and quite profound that he tell us for the first time on Easter that she's not there. Praise God that she's not there! It was all because of the first glorious Easter morning when Jesus rose from his grave that we have hope and peace and complete joy that our baby girl is not in that little concrete box, but living freely and in more glory than my mind can imagine! Jesus made it possible and He guides our steps as we travel this road ahead...
This brings me to a burning question that so many of you have had..our newest gift's given name! I must start by explaining several things first. When I was just pregnant with Annabelle, I was certain that she was a boy. I had only had a son and my pregnancy was so similiar that I just knew another little boy was on the way. I was elated to learn that she was the little girl I'd dreamt of having...and still is! However, we had already named her the boy name that we had as our backup when we had Wyatt. (There were only two names that we ever agreed upon for him and he's named one of them.) So, baby #2 was going to be the other name that we loved...until he was a she. Annabelle is named after both of her grandmothers and her maternal great grandmother. Once we had put it all together, I looked up the meaning online and knew it was perfect for her...gracious and merciful beauty she is indeed!
Fast forward to this pregnancy, I didn't really even think about boy names because, honestly, I prayed for a girl. I just knew that after all of our heartache we would be given another girl. About two weeks before finding out the gender, I began a Bible study by Beth Moore that I've had since Wyatt was a baby. It begins by studying Mary and Elizabeth's pregnancies with Jesus and John the Baptist. Their joy and excitement is contagious and had me wondering just what was in store for the little one we were given. I asked God to soften my heart towards the possibility of having another son if that was His plan.
I have also made amazing friends with another heart mom who experienced a very similiar loss with her third child. We have chatted late into the night about just how alike our two little heart babies are...even their final hours with us. Our little ones even favor each other and have a look that is identical between them showing the wisdom beyond their little life on earth. I know our babies are the best of friends!
A couple of weeks ago, I prayed specifically for a sign. I knew that all things seemed to point to this being his name but call me Doubting Thomas...I just needed more. I am completely aware that I am not due anything and haven't deserved half of what I've been given but God is so gracious! We went to visit Annabelle after church that morning, just two days after her Jesus Day and the many tears that were shed there on Friday. I didn't want to go. Scott and I agreed that it would be a brief visit. I usually spend all my time there with her, mothering her in any way that I still can. This time I walked around a little and just 7 spots down from her I looked up and saw this...

Only the Master of the Universe could have orchestrated something so perfect! Only He knew that our baby girl would be buried just feet away 9 years after this man and that we would need Him to give us reassurance in His plan in such a startling way...the Bible study was on the first chapter of Luke, my friend's little boy & Annabelle's precious friend is Luke, and the name that we had held out on 5 years ago is Luke. How about getting a sign in bronze! We laughed the rest of the day knowing that God and the little dollbaby sitting on his lap had to be getting a kick out of this one!

22 comments:

jan tompkins said...

What a beautiful story. Luke was my first choice. It's a wonderfully strong name as I am sure your new little one will be strong in so many ways...certainly in faith and loving our Dear Savior. Happy that your Easter weekend was a happy one. We, too, were blessed with a nice day. Ann had the day off so Hannah was happy. Take good care of yourself.
Ann was happy to see you all at the hospital last week. Blessings!!!!

The Chavis Family said...

I almost scrolled to the bottom just to find out. It was with extreme selfcontrol that I didn't. I'm so glad I waited and read the whole thing and then saw the picture. WOW!!! I can't wait to meet Luke. Wyatt summed up the Easter message so beautifully with his statement. :) ~Kim

The Johnson Family said...

YAY!! I love the name Luke. Your post was so sweet. And Wyatt is quite right. Annabelle is not there. She's home waiting for you.

Evie's Story said...

Beautifully written dear one! God is so good to give tangible reminders that He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow...Unchanging! Love the details of how He has clearly annointed the name for your sweet baby!

The Simmons Family said...

Oh, I am so exctied about that name! I can't wait to meet him, if only through here.

I hope you had a WONDERFUL Easter together!

Wyatt continues to amaze me with things he says and comes up with.

Prayers and blessings to you!
Andrea

Lindsay Dean said...

Beautiful!!! I just love it! Annabelle is an incredible little girl with quite a sense of humor, huh? ;-) Crazy as it is......my late father-in-law went by the name Butch!! This gave me goose bumps! God is sooo good to all of us! Love you friend and so glad that you had a happy easter!
Suzie

Lindsay Dean said...

OK.....middle name?? No pressure! ha ha

Angela said...

Oh my goodness, that is so wonderful! I just cried and cried when I read that, and then I went to Luke's blog and cried some more.

I can't wait to "meet" him! :)

Amanda-The Family News! said...

Ok -Rebecca, goosebumps.
So this person passed away on MY birthday... AND, MY daughter shares YOUR daughters birthday!
I LOVE the name Luke - and just can't wait to meet this little blessing!!!!
What a perfect name!!!
Love ~ Amanda

Miller Family said...

Oh, instant chills and tears when I saw the headstone name. Wow! Thank you for sharing with us. It sounds like you had a beautiful Easter reminder from sweet Wyatt. God is Amazing!

Danielle @ Living Out Loud said...

What a wonderful way to truly KNOW that God had a special, perfect name picked out for this little boy! Your ability to SEE all that God offers you always amazes me and brings me to tears! I can't wait to "meet" a perfectly healthy little Luke soon! He is so lucky to be born into such a special family!

And just for the record, Luke has always been one of my favorite boy names! It remains on my "list" - the one I keep in hopes of being blessed a third time:) And... I think that Wyatt is wearing the SAME shorts that Noah wore on Easter! And Noah, too, wore a sweater vest! Are you sure we are not long lost sisters?!

Thanks for sharing your story. It inspires me to "open my eyes" to all that God has to offer me!

Easter Blessings to all of you!

The Ridgway Family said...

What a perfect name for this little miracle. I know that Bernie will be so honored as will her little angel Luke. I pray that your little Luke's effusion does indeed clear up before your next appointment. I am so happy that all else is well. You are so faithful and strong and I appreciate your faith as it strengthens me through my days.

Love, Keisa

Katie said...

Happy Easter!!! I love the name you've picked and indeed, so fitting. Wyatt is precious and his gentle reminder was perfect. Hope you're feeling well and enjoying the blessings of pregnancy! Love to you...
Katie

Lindsay Dean said...

Oh and by the way, my late father-in-law's birthday is Sept.22.....what is on the grave plate that you photographed..........oooooooooo
Now, I really don't know what to think about this one! ;-)
Love you!
Suzie

Our Family said...

I think I have read this entry about 5 times already and each time, it makes me cry. I may be biased, but I am in love with your sweet Luke's name! Luke is such a strong name and I know that your Luke is already so very strong. I am honored that your baby and my angel will share the same name. Thank you for including our angel in your story--it means so very much to me and Tommy. I know that he and Annabelle are up there with Jesus jumping up and down for your baby boy. Rebecca, I am so blessed to have found you and am so thankful to have you as a friend and fellow angel mom. You are an amazing person, mother, and wife. Your family is so lucky to have you! I am so looking forward to our families getting together, wherever that may be and I can't wait to meet Luke!!!! God bless you and your little Luke. He is in my thoughts and prayers. So glad you and Scott can call him by name now...what a fun thing to be able to do!

Love you friend,
Bernie

Tommy, Erica, Addie Kate, and Andrew said...

What a beautiful name! I am sure this chidl will live up to it! I knew whatever you picked would be precious!

Rebecca Patterson said...

I love it!! Such a strong name!! Praying daily for your whole family!! :)

Anonymous said...

I am sooo happy for you all. I check your blog often and after reading what you posted today,I wanted to share something with you...I too lost my first daughter after having two precious sons. The loss of our baby girl was also the loss of the beauty of all that a little girl brings to a family....When I became pregnant again. I too prayed so much and truly believed God was going to bless us with another daughter so I may be able to taste some of tose dreams I had for my baby girl here in this life...I didn't share this desire of my heart with anyone besides my husband. When I learned the precious baby I was carrying was another boy, the emotions surprised and overwhelmed me. I was overjoyed, yet very conflicted and confused in my heart. I felt misled by God, yet so grateful for the life inside my womb. I carried the pain of longing for a daughter through that pregnancy and prayed constantly to know that God's will was far beyond what I could see. Anyway, I share this with you because I know the mixed emotions that accompanied me after I learned that my little baby was not in fact Laura, but Ben. My Ben has been my miracle. He was born with a heart condition (which is why I first fell in love with your story...) and has beaten the odds many times now. He is a healthy 4 1/2 year old who now has a SISTER here on earth as well (and another baby brother!!) My heart became fertile ground as my desires were crucified with Jesus. I embraced the pain of longing for another daughter (NEVER to replace my precious Meredith), but was blessed beyond my wildest imaginations by God when He gave us our Ben. Annabelle lives and all your mothers hearts desires WILL be fulfilled in God's own time.
Peace and congratulations,
A mommy in Louisiana

The Mason Family said...

Beautiful, beautiful post Rebecca; I still have the chills…I am so glad that you and Bernie found each other and have become ‘friends’. What a special bond the two of you share!

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I continue to keep your family in my thoughts and prayers…

Andrea Weaver said...

Luke is a perfect name! What a touching story! I will be praying for baby Luke and your family. I know that you must be very excited about his upcoming arrival. May God conti

Andrea Weaver said...

What a touching story! God works in an awesome way! I love the name Luke! I will be praying for baby Luke and your family as you prepare for his arrival! I'm sure he will be just as handsome as Mr. Wyatt! May God pour out His blessings and grace upon your family.
Love in Christ,
Andrea Weaver

Stephanie Winter said...

Hi Rebecca,
I am a good friend of Suzie Deans and was checking on your site... just thought you should know that Luke was the physician of the apostles... the healer, just like this baby will be to you guys!! God bless you!
Stephanie Winter