Yesterday, I had the closet thing that I have had to a "normal" prenatal appointment in quite some time! I waited (normal), had my blood pressure checked (normal), got asked the normal pregnancy questions like if I had experienced any contractions & the doctor heard our daughter's heartbeat on the doppler (perfectly normal)!!! Her heartbeat is usually in the upper 140s so it was very comforting to hear her heart beating just over 150. I pray that is a sign that she is getting stronger & her heart is ready to win! We were told at a previous appointment with the cardiologist that leaking valves and a decreased heartrate were some warning signs that her heart may be failing in utero. So, an increased heartbeat is an answer to prayer! I talked the doctor into not seeing me for a month which is another answer to prayer and also normal at this stage. Our daughter is moving quite a bit so I am to monitor her kicks for the next month and call if anything changes. Scott felt her really kick on Saturday night. You should have seen the relief in his face when he felt her. That was definitely an answer to prayer for him! My next appointments with the OB and Cardiolgist are on Oct. 22!!! I just don't know what I am going to do without having to see a doctor for that long?!! I am sure Wyatt and I can come up with something fun!
I have spoken with and received emails from several other "heart moms" in the past week. I have felt such an immediate bond with these ladies. I have been overly impressed with their strong faith. They have all gotten much further in this process than us so their experiences are very precious to me. I have spoken with two amazing ladies in town. One of them has a daughter with HLHS who is 10 months old and has had 2 of her surgeries so far. She has done amazingly! It is very encouraging to talk to her. I was telling my OB yesterday about how comforting it is to me to have their support and advice. I had felt for many weeks like the joy of being pregnant and expecting a daughter had been stolen from our family. One minute I get excited about having her and the next minute I will be crying over everything. It is very scary to be excited. I can't pretend that everything is okay because we know we have some huge hurdles ahead of us. I have to deal with what I am feeling at that moment. Another "heart mom", Betsey, told me that the best piece of advice is to handle one day at a time and not to worry about everything at once. It's so true! It is so overwhelming to think about everything our daughter has to go through. So, right now we focus on today...praising God for her increased heartbeat and feisty little kicks! There are so many emotions that go with this situation that moms with normal pregnancies would never get close to experiencing. Things are definitely seen in a different light. As hard as this has been and as much as it still hurts, I am thankful for the growth the Lord has given me already. He will be glorified!
Please continue to pray for a miracle! We know that it is not too great for our God to perform one on her precious little heart. Hopefully, we'll be deciding on a name soon...we've narrowed it down so there is progress...right now she is our angel baby. Please pray, too, for Julianne...another little girl with HLHS. She just had her first surgery on Monday (the link to her website is on the right).
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11