My heart just sank as I opened an email a few moments ago from our social worker titled "final update". I jumped right past the new measurements and went straight for the three photos attached.
My heart just sank.
Oh, how I hurt.
Our precious girl is so sad. In one photo it looks as though she had just had an all out meltdown and her face is blotchy from the crying. In another one, she gives us a peek at the 5 teeth the update says she now has and she clearly shows a stuffy nose and yucky cold has taken over.
I was immediately brought to tears for her. The sadness, the loneliness, the confusion in which she lives and has always known is evident like never before to me in these moments. They say a picture is worth a thousand words and these most certain speak volumes.
If I dwell on the pain in her eyes, I will accomplish absolutely nothing. Her eyes tell her story and it breaks my heart. Seeing her in this way, I want to leave now, today, 5 minutes ago and be on a plane half way around the world to take her away from such sadness.
These photos make me hurt even more for the Creator of this perfect and precious child of His...and of all of the fatherless marked with the same pain recognizable in my daughter's eyes.
God knew these were coming and He knew it'd hurt. That's why He allowed yesterday to happen first.
Most other adoptive parents receive their final update before they've reached these final milestones that we are in. I have waited for weeks for these photos. They were requested when we received our Letter of Acceptance the very beginning of January. Typically, Andie-Grace's orphanage gets our updates back to us within a week. This time they didn't. It took 5 times longer than we've waited for any other update yet.
Yesterday was supposed to happen first or else these photos would emotionally kill and devastate me.
Yesterday...yesterday we received our Travel Approval. Yesterday, we received the final approval from Ch!na to book our flights and pack our bags. Yesterday, we requested our consulate appointment after having already gotten everything else in order that we need to bring her home. Yesterday, we knew that on February 24th Andie-Grace will be placed in our arms and will never, ever, ever be an orphan again. We have our due date. She has a forever family day.
Our hearts are heavied even more for her and we were immediately brought to our knees in prayer to the only One Who can bring her peace that passes all understanding while she waits just a little bit longer.
We are coming, sweet girl...we are coming soon!!!!