My precious girl,
You are six today, my love! How has it already been six years since you were first welcomed into this world among a flurry of reporters and photographers and nurses and doctors?!? In my mind, I can go back and it’s literally just yesterday. Those sacred memories will always be held so close in my heart that I know I’ll never forget a beautiful moment that you were here. I thank God for those moments…
I’ve learned that I can’t expect anything on your days…I just have to let them be whatever they end up being. In the past, I’ve wanted to plan and make sure that every little detail is attended to just perfectly so that I know without a doubt at the end of your blessed birthday that you were celebrated just as you should be. But, God has taught me through spending more time with Him that those concerns that I have about you being forgotten are just lies, my dear. You will never be forgotten…you couldn’t be.
You’ve left the most glorious tiny imprint on our lives…on our family. Your coming and your going changed us…and made us better.
I thought about sleeping in this morning and hiding from the world, but I couldn’t. Your big brother had his homeschool co-op that he adores to attend and your little brother had speech lessons and, if you’ve taught me nothing else, you’ve taught me to love them best. So, I reluctantly got up and faced another birthday without you in my arms.
Just how hard did you giggle when Jesus told you the gift He had planned for us for your birthday, my love? I bet it was a big belly laugh for sure!
Did you hear me singing to your little Luke in the car beforehand? You know I think of you every single time I sing that song?
“O to grace how great a debtor, daily I’m constrained to be…Let thy goodness like a fetter bind thy wondering heart to thee, Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love…Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above…”
I know you do and I know you know why. The meaning and the timing of those words are forever written on my heart…
Was it in that moment…in those last lines of that sacred old hymn that He pulled you near? Was it then that He gave you a glimpse into our world to watch as His miracle was displayed before us?
God’s timing is always perfect and I know that you know that best.
Did He let you watch as I read those words, sweet girl? Did you hear my cries of joy intertwined with such sorrow of a day no mother should ever have to endure alone?
I hope you danced. I hope you hopped in your grandma’s lap and just beamed with light at the miracle we’d just been given directly from Heaven. Oh, how I pray you witnessed those moments!
You’ve given us so much, beautiful one…and still are. I never thought it would be possible to feel so empty and yet be completely overflowing at precisely the same moment…and to have perfect peace with both.
Oh how I miss you, my Annabelle…and always will. That perfect piece of my heart will forever be yours. Thank you for coming and taking it with you…and sealing my heart to Heaven for all Eternity.
And…thank you for your gift…this redeeming and perfect gift…I could have never planned anything near as wonderful as Jesus already had.
Please kiss Jesus for me…and my momma, too…and thank them both for loving you for me. Until Heaven, sweet girl…Happy Birthday!
Love always and forever~ Mommy
~As only God could do, we received notice on Annabelle’s 6th birthday today, our Article 5 had been delivered to the US Consulate in Ch!na and within hours picked back up and was overnighted to Beijing for our Travel Approval to be issued. Our timeline just moved up a couple of weeks and it is very likely that Andie-Grace will be in our arms by the end of February! Best birthday present ever!!!~