Monday, October 21, 2013

{In the Details…}

Adoption was not my plan.  It’s always been an idea…a passing thought…a far away dream…but not my plan. 

For one, it’s costly.  There have been many months in our 11 years of marriage where we have lived from month to month.  Having a birth control baby just a year into our marriage with me still being a college student {thankfully, I walked across that stage a blossoming 6 months pregnant} and my husband a well insured but very underpaid state employee further hindered our hopes of any financial security for quite some time.  We’d been blessed with job changes and salary increases and were so faithful with our giving to the Lord our first fruits that He’d blessed us to a point where we finally were beginning to feel secure.

And, just barely into that, God asks us to risk it.  To give it up.  To step out in complete faith that He will provide where we know we can’t.

It’s not just financially either. This walk in faith is much, much deeper than that…

I have a child who has seen loss.  He held her hand as she left this Earth and has never forgotten that.  He knows grief deeper than any child ever should.  His heart is so tender and pure.  He will break down in a river of tears at a moment’s notice and begs to just be held daily.  The pain is real.  It’s still so raw at times, too.  And it’s harder to bear than my own.

Yet, he was the one leading us down this path of adoption nearly a year ago.  Opening the door…pleading for another child to love…knowing, better than any other, that the rewards will always outweigh the cost.

And so in the midst of praying for a daughter half way around the world that I’ve yet to meet, I pray for him, too.

He’s not said much about his sister in China and still seems hesitant to get his hopes up just yet.  I recognized it immediately.  He already feels so alone on his island of grief.  He didn’t want to be alone on this island either.  He needs someone.  Someone other than an adult who gets him and and who can say “I know”.

I’ve specifically asked for the Lord to give him someone to relate to in his little 9 year old world who, just maybe, has a little Chinese sister, too. 

And God never, ever, ever fails, y’all…

Just a few weeks ago, I was picking him up from a homeschool program that he attends two days a week.  He’s been regularly sharing stories with me about his new buddy “G”.  His father is a pastor and his mother is their Bible teacher.  They were randomly assigned seats before the school year began and sit right next to each other.  They’ve become recess playmates and share staplers.  He told me how he added our adoption to their prayer list in the Bible class and how his teacher (his buddy’s mom) smiled at him when he added it.

Then, one Wednesday afternoon he hopped right in the truck from the carpool line with a huge smile across his freckled face and said “Mom, G’s got a sister from China, too!”

Thank you, Jesus!

I cried the rest of the drive back home in thanksgiving of the One who cares about every detail of our lives and, especially, of my son’s.  I tried to take in the story of how he shared with G about our adoption as they were coloring a worksheet and how, in total boy mode, G responded “Cool! That’s where my sister is from.”

Acceptance.  Community.  Belonging.  In one simple statement.

Little had I known that for nearly two months, I’d been dropping off my baby boy for two full days a week {and the only days he’s not at home with me} to foster a precious friendship that transcends anything that they will ever learn in those books.  God had already planted His answer there and I didn’t even know it.

It’s that hope that propels us forward as we await for Him to reveal our daughter to us. 

Everything that we have to do to this point is done.  Our paperwork was sent to China last week and we can now officially be matched with our daughter.

So…we wait. 

And…we know, even when we don’t see it, He is at work and has a beautiful, perfect plan in place that will unfold at just the right time. 

He’s in the details and He’s slowly, masterfully turning brokenness into hope…from both sides of the globe.


Lily said...

Thank you for sharing this! I know that I have said this before, but, you are truly an inspiration to me!

Shannon said...

So, SO amazing!! :)

Sarah Leech said...

wow!! that is awesome!! such a beautiful post!

Sarah Leech said...

wow!! that is so awesome!! such a beautiful post!

Brittany said...

This is an amazing post. Thank you for sharing your story. Praying for your sweet girl and your boys!

I have two boys also, and my heart will rejoice when we can see our boys with their Chinese little sister so soon!!!!!!