I’ve been asked many times how I “did” this year and several precious friends have let me know countless times that I was in their prayers as I walked through another holy-day season without my daughter in my arms. Honestly, it was really bad going into it. Then, the Lord laid it on my heart to get out of that pit (as Beth Moore would say)! He convicted my heart that although I may not have her here physically, I still carry her with me and she’s still an instrumental part of our family. He also convicted my heart of the reason for Christmas and the promise that He has given to me of Eternal Life by coming to earth in the first place. He didn’t have to do it, but He chose to. I had to choose JOY…for myself, for my husband, for my Wyatt who is reveling in the midst of the Christmas spirit even now, and for my Luke who blessed our entire family this year and has gently restored HOPE in the One Who gave him to us.
Mommy & Luke at my mom’s side Christmas
Grandma Lottie (Belle), me & Wyatt…my mom’s mom who Annabelle got the Belle from!
Wyatt with his real deer antlers on! We thought this was too funny so….
We did it to Luke, too! :)
Nana (Scott’s mom) with four of the nine grandbabies!
The grandchildren on Scott’s side. This one is hard…there will always be one missing.
Grandaddy (my daddy) & his grandsons
My boys…you can see Wyatt wasted no time wearing his Tim Tebow jersey (and he’s worn it about every other day since)!
Wyatt opening presents at Grandaddy’s house on Christmas Day
My favorite present comes to Grandaddy's house...a letter from Annabelle. Last year, he surprised me with a letter in her stocking telling me all about how amazing her first Christmas in Heaven was, about her loving us and how we've honored Christ as He's called us to do through her baskets. I know things were different this year and didn't have any expectations of another letter...but there was one. It came after every other gift had been opened. My daddy gave me her stocking and another beautiful letter from my girl inside it. I cherish those...as a mother who knows that my first obligation is to raise my children to grow in Christ and to claim Him as their own, it does my heart no greater joy than to know one of my three babies is already there.
It was a very Merry Christmas in our home…but, friends, what my heart is even more grateful for & what I am really looking forward to is Easter! That’s where HE completed it all & made everything possible! Losing my daughter has driven me so close to the Cross…and even closer to the Empty Tomb.
3 comments:
Oh precious friend
You know I carried you in my heart through this season and have imagined her many times celebrating this beautiful time of year in GLORY! My heart huts for every picture that leaves a void and know on this side of eternity, there will always be a hole in your heart. But hers is healed!!
Tears already this morning from your post.
Love you dearly!
Tears from me already this morning too! It sounds like you all had a nice Christmas with those beautiful (I can say that, right?!) boys, but my heart aches for you for the void you feel from missing sweet Annabelle. Many prayers went up for your family through the holidays, and they definitely continue.
What an amazing gift to find in Annabelle's stocking! :)
Big heart hugs and prayers,
Shannon
You are so right, about having to make the choice of joy...oh how hard it is sometimes...especially during the holidays and during the times when you think about the way things "should have been"...Thankfully God's mercy and grace is abundant if he accept it! Sometimes I do, sometimes I dont! :) But I am smart enough to know that things are better when I do! :) So thankful you chose joy this Christmas season. I know having those two beautiful boys made it a little easier to do that! I could just eat that little Luke up! He's such a doll baby! And I see Wyatt got the Tim Tebow jersey! Thank the Lord! I worried so much about it, after you commented asking me about it and I never got around to getting back to you! (So sorry)! So glad you guys found one for him!!! Wishing you lots of happy and good times in 2010!!!
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