Friday, May 29, 2009

The Nursery

I have been looking forward to Friday mornings for the past few weeks because Kelly (at Kelly's Korner) has been hosting a "Show Us Where You Live" blog event every Friday. I have had so much fun looking through other homes and was so close to joining in last week but just didn't get to it...things like playing catch and trying my best to pitch to my son are definitely more important these days! But, when it got time for today's featured rooms, I just couldn't pass it up! So...along with the pictures that are necessary to be a part of the blog fun today, I've got a little story that I've wanted to share and finally have the perfect opportunity.

First, a little history on our home...we live in an old home that was renovated and added on to about 8 years ago (we have been here for almost 4 years). The floor plan is less than ideal but when we saw this house, we were in love with it and could see our family staying here forever. The original part of the house is pretty traditional to what was built 80 something years ago...a main hallway with rooms off of it. All of the rooms, with the exception of the kitchen and bathrooms, can be just about whatever room you would like them to be. We also have a basement with two huge rooms but one is Wyatt's playroom and the other has been completely taken over by the Annabelle Baskets (although our plan is to eventually move those into a room in the guest house/Scott's office...the former owners had a business that they built a guest house for and Scott & Wyatt now call it "man town"...complete with fishing rods, wood paneled walls & a large mouth bass hanging on the wall that was NOT allowed in our main house!) We love the charm and character of it... the white picket fence and huge oak trees providing perfect shade in the summer. So, with that said here's the nursery story...

When we found out that we were expecting again, as I have mentioned before, I prayed for another girl. It would be so easy...the nursery was still all set up, baby girl clothes in the drawers and beautiful smocked dresses hanging in the closet. The room was ready for another girl but I was not. What God knew that I did not was that a little boy was on his way...a little boy that I needed to help me grieve and grow. I have a wonderful heart friend, Ashlee, who has walked this path ahead of me and really helped me not push myself to do anything that I am not completely ready to do. She did mention to me last summer that she has a special box of things that touched her daughter, London. In my mind, I thought this would be perfect if the house caught on fire and I needed to be able to grab some of the most special things of Annabelle's to keep. So, I gradually began to go through her room collecting the things that mean the most to me of hers...things that I can see her wearing, wrapped in or snuggled next to. It took me months. Most people would see Annabelle's room and think that nothing had changed, but to me and Scott it wasn't the same. I found myself going in there less and only looking through her drawers a couple of times in months...mostly because she wasn't there and my heart was little by little allowing my mind to be okay with that. So, when the things that I was gathering for Luke began to overtake the chest of drawers that I had set up in the laundry room, I realized that just as much as I am Annabelle's mommy, I am also Luke's mommy. Blame it on the nesting or hormones or whatever, I knew it was time to change things a make room in our home for Luke. Originally, our plan was to keep him in our room (although he will be in there for quite some time anyways) and then once he's bigger, he and Wyatt can share a room. The other idea was to move Wyatt into the Annabelle Basket/guest bedroom and put Luke in Wyatt's room. With time and healing, the decision was made for us...the nursery would remain a nursery but the pink would fade into blue.

A few weeks ago, I very slowly began to move things around a bit. As I was taking down the pink sailcloth panels last weekend, I prayed through it and began laughing so loudly when I just knew that I could hear the voice of my daughter reminding me that "Mommy, this is cotton! Don't cry over cotton." and asking me if I have any idea the luxuries she is experiencing in her nursery in Heaven..."No, darling. I don't. But, you are right...these are only earthly treasures." As a Christian, I hold tightly to Matthew 6:19-21..."Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth...But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." My heart belongs to Him and He is my treasure...amazing what you'll be reminded of when folding cotton! I just know that Annabelle would be so proud to see her nursery being lovingly prepared for her little brother!

I still have quite a bit to do but things are starting to shape up and a beautiful baby boy is making his way more and more into our hearts & home!

The view looking in...I just loved the canopy that we purchased for Annabelle so we decided to keep it for Luke. I am sure it will be coming down before too long...when he figures out how to yank it down!

How perfect! My blog friend, Danielle @ Living Out Loud, sent this to me for Mother's Day!

More goodies from Danielle & Suzie (Lindsay's mommy)!

A peek inside his drawers...

Luke's coming home gown & cap.

A close-up...I just knew this was it when I saw it!

A onesie that I ordered for Luke...

Some things will never change...a few of the bows that aren't packed away (so rotten!)...Wyatt picks out Annabelle's bow to change each week on her angel so keeping this in the nursery was mandatory. Luke has a lot to learn about his high maintenance sissy!


Aunt JC said...

I love you and think you are so strong. I continue to pray for you daily. The nursery looks great.

Heather said...

The nursery looks great! Thanks for sharing with us that story!

Mommy Webb said...

What a beautiful home and an even more beautiful story. Inspiration for my day...This is the first time that I have been to your blog - found you via Kelly's blog. Thanks for sharing your life with all of us other mommies!

Rachel (

The Simmons Family said...

BEAUTIFUL nursery for Luke. He will LOVE it and I'm sure Annabelle is loving it too! I love the bows you keep hung for Wyatt to pick from.. so sweet. It looks like you're all ready for his big arrival! When is your due date?

Lindsay Dean said...

The nursery is absolutely perfect in every possible way! I just love you and how things just "smack" you. I have had that alot this week and have been very emotional because of it. God is so good and knows when we need some help. He has given you such strength, it is unbelievable. Annabelle is so pround of her mommy and wouldn't have wanted this any other way! Virtual hugs my friend!
With Love, Suzie

Evie's Story said...

These are big steps in grieving and opening your heart to this new gift. Annabelle. I know, is proud to see you embracing the blue theme for little Luke in "her" room. You are a strong, but tender momma! The nursery looks beautiful!

Evie's Story said...

These are big steps in grieving and opening your heart to this new gift. Annabelle. I know, is proud to see you embracing the blue theme for little Luke in "her" room. You are a strong, but tender momma! The nursery looks beautiful!

Frugal Jen said...

I came to your blog from Kelly's. Seeing those bows brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your beautiful nursery.

Bethany @ Our 4 Sons Plus 1...Super Cute Girly Girl said...

Beautiful story and a beautiful nursery- thanks for sharing.

Danielle @ Living Out Loud said...

Oh dear friend, Rebecca...

I don't know if I will ever be able to read one of your posts without crying! This time, there are tears of both joy & sadness.

I want to tell you that I was thinking about you early this week. I don't know why, I just was. I was thinking of how much you and I both adore "girly" things and about how I know you will one day have a second babydoll as part of your family. To be completely honest, I think I was wondering why God chose to bless you with a boy in this pregnancy as opposed to another girl. As I was thinking about this, I very clearly had a thought. The exact thought that came to me was "God must know that it is not yet time for Rebecca to have another girl. He knows she needs to have a baby boy first. He knows that her heart is not yet ready for a baby girl... Annabelle is still (and always will be) her baby girl. It's not the right time." Like I said, I don't know why I was thinking about you, but I was... and that is exactly what the Lord imparted to me.

So when I read your post this morning, I got "warm fuzzies" as I read the words "the room was ready for another baby girl, but I was not." The Lord knew this too, and in a very tender way, He is taking care of you and helping you through your grieving process. His timing is perfect and he knew that now would be the perfect time to bless your family with a baby BOY! And in His perfect timing, I have a feeling that one day, you will hear "it's a girl" and Wyatt, Annabelle & Luke will have a baby sister to love.

Rebecca... I love your honesty, your wisdom, your faith, and your heart. You are such a special person.

And by the way, the nursery is precious! I'm so glad that the cross matches so well! And the coming home gown... it is perfect, absolutely perfect!

And friend... Annabelle's bow collection puts Emily's to shame :) I love the bow holder... where did you get it? It would be perfect in Emily's room (which I'm hoping to do a room post for Kelly's tour tonight). And the bows should remain there... it will be the perfect way to share Annabelle with her baby brother!

Thanks for sharing the nursery story, but most of all, thank you for sharing YOU!

Love, Danielle

Anonymous said...

the nursery looks GREAT!!! I love the cross & baby Butcher burp cloth with the same colors!!!! I know Annabelle is smiling down on her momma as you took these steps to turn from pink to blue! Can't wait to meet & hold sweet Luke!!!
Sarah Leech :)

Amanda-The Family News! said...

Rebecca - the nursery looks beautiful!!! And I am sure that Luke won't ever mind having his sweet sister's hairbows hanging in his room!

And for the box of treasures (you know, in case of fire) - I have a box for each of my children too that ALL the special things go in - just in case. I have even thought about buying a fire proof safe for it...and, just in case!

Please let me know when you are in the area again...I would love to do lunch again!!!

Love and hugs to you - Amanda

Brooke said...

You brought me to tears.

Luke, you have a beautiful place to grow and be loved.

So glad I found your blog from Kelly's tour. It was an honor to read your sweet story, and my heart is touched by Annabelle.

Erica May said...

I love the room! It was so good to talk to you this week! We WILL get together soon! As always, you are in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Love the room.....perfect for Luke!!!

Can't wait for dinner tomorrow night!

Love ya,


Anonymous said...

We have a 14 month old Luke and had the same bedding/bumper that you do:) aybe Pottery Barn should rename it the Luke pattern - Good luck with your Luke!

Anonymous said...

I have only told you a million times, but again.....I am so proud of you!!

Kim said...

Rebecca- I sit here in tears reading your blog. You don't know how much I needed to hear your words today. The past couple of days I have been staring at Bella's things in her crib and dresser, missing her dearly, and wondering what she is doing in heaven. I guess that is a part of the healing process. I am so thankful for our friendship and that God placed you, Scott, and Wyatt in our lives. I am sure Annabelle is so proud to share the nursery with her new brother. I can’t wait to come see the nursery in person! It looks perfect.

I stand in awe just thinking about what the girls are doing in heaven and the joy we will have when we see them again some day.

With Love,

Unknown said...

what a beautiful nursery and a beautiful story of what ONLY God can do with such pain, loss, and sorrow! I had to click on your blog from the link on Kelly's Korner because of the name "Annabelle"... then I almost fell out when I read your post. We too, know the pain of loosing a child. 4 months after Cooper's death, we found out we were expecting another baby. I desperately wanted another boy. Like you, God knew exactly what we needed, and our baby girl, ANNABELLE, was born December 9th of 2008! God is so good. I can relate to so much of what you said in this post and thought it was beautifully written...

Tommy, Erica, Addie Kate, and Andrew said...

I love it. Luke will be precious in it. I know it was hard for you and I continue to keep you in my prayers for a peaceful journey!

Miller Family said...

The room looks beautiful. I am so proud of you! I can only imagine how difficult it was to take the first step, then how amazing it was when you had the realization of Annabelle in her heaven nursery. God truly works in mysterious ways and knew what you needed to get through this. Hugs to you!!!

RHONDA said...

The nursery is so beautiful and so perfect, and I am so glad you kept the bows in friend Julie lost her baby girl Rylee two years ago and has just recently given birth to a baby boy Brodey..and in his nursey on his chest of drawers...sits a picture of lil Rylee..because it was her room originally and it was so hard for her to convert it over, but God gave her the strength and some great friends to help her and it makes me smile every time I go in Brodey's nursery ..and see Miss Rylee's pic, it is as if a part of her is still there. God Bless you and can't wait to see Luke..What a Blessing. THink of your and pray for you often.

Rhonda Lyle

Courtney said...

What a beautiful nursery. Thank you for sharing your story!

The Hardy Family said...

The nursery looks great! You are amazing and Luke is already so blessed!!

Shannon Carter said...

You are so amazing! Annabelle must be SO PROUD to have you as her mommy! I love that you're leaving her bows up, and that little Luke will share his room with his big sister. What better way for him to get to know her.

It was great to meet you Sunday! I've been meaning to email you, but haven't for some reason. I would love to get together for lunch sometime!!

Take care, and you'll continue to be in our prayers. We can't wait to meet Luke! (He and Derrick will be close to the same dates!! :))

Heart Hugs,

Sue said...

My baby was just diagnosed with HLHS and I have been stalking blogs of HLHS kids trying to get all the information I can on what we are about to face. I am so sorry for the loss of beautiful Annabelle, but I am so grateful you will be blessed with another little child of God. Thank you for sharing the story Annabelle's short life. I love that you have seen the blessings in your life and share it.