Sunday, April 6, 2008

"His Plan is Divine"...these are the only words that I could think of as I watched the nurses at the pediatricians's office, the EMS workers and the medical team at Lexington Medical Center try to save Annabelle. I tried to pray but those were the only words that would come to me- the only words that were laid on my heart to pray.
We knew that every day would be a gift with Annabelle and we treated them as such. We wished there were more but trust that God's plan for her life was fulfilled in 8 weeks and 3 days. I look back at the days before her flight to heaven and see so many things that God gave us as sacred memories. I think about Annabelle snuggling belly to belly on Scott Wednesday night. She had spent most of the day awake and cuddled right up on her daddy after dinner. I remember sitting across the room from them and thinking how perfect the two of them looked together. After her 11pm feed, I held her and we snuggled all night. I tried to lay her down while I got ready to take her for her 2 month checkup but she knew that I was putting her down and woke up. Scott held her the rest of the morning until we left. She gave a new meaning to the words "high maintenance" and knew she had mommy and daddy wrapped around her little pinky finger. I wouldn't trade one second with her for any of the pain that we are going through now. She would usually fall asleep as soon as she started a feed and her belly got full. Wednesday afternoon Wyatt was taking a nap (which he doesn't usually do anymore) and I began Annabelle on her 2pm feed. I was holding her and turned on the television thinking that she would doze off soon. Not that day. I noticed that she was staring at me and taking in every detail she observed. I turned off the television. Annabelle and I spent over 45 minutes just staring at each other...I talked to her and she laughed. It was a blessing that I will never forget. Little did I know that would be the last day with her, the last night for Scott and her to snuggle on the couch, and the last night that she would sleep in my arms.
Wyatt makes a wish on every dandelion that he sees that "Annabelle will come back down". He is such a protective big brother and took such great care of her. I regularly would have to ask him to get out of her face because he kissed her constantly. He is starting to open up about everything and we are all slowly working through our tremendous loss.
In all of this, I am reminded that God suffered the death of His own son and knows the pain that I feel. He ordained every day that she was with us. He could have allowed her to live, but He didn't and I have to honor that. I trusted His plan in August when we learned of her fragile heart and I trust Him now. I am convinced that that is why those were the only words that I could speak...because as much as I hurt and have hurted and will continue to hurt for my daughter, I know that His Plan is Divine.

30 comments:

Cami said...

Wow, you are amazing!!! Your faith is a blessing to those of us that don't even know you!!

Love a friend of Baby Gracie,
Cami

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, Scott, Wyatt,
You guys are such an inspiration! I pray and think of you guys every day!
Love,
Sandra Tracy

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, I am just so in awe of you. I have thought about you, Scott and Wyatt SO much these last 2 weeks. You are such a blessing to me as I see your faith grow through such a heartbreaking time. I look forward to your posts and check it everyday.

Love,
Johanna Chapman

Anonymous said...

Rebecca,

THANK YOU for your never doubting faith. It has made a lasting imprint on my life. Our Lord is being glorified through your daily testimony. The impact your family has had on so many lives over these past months is amazing. You are truly fulfilling your purpose.

We love you all so much and are praying for you.

Love,

Elizabeth, Rick and Manning

Anonymous said...

Sweetie my heart just bursts for you. Your faith is amazing. You are amazing. We are parying everyday for you and your family.

Love
Kathy Al and the girls

♥ Michele ♥ said...

My heart breaks for you and I hope you will have the strength to carry on during these trying days. I know that you will be with her again in heaven. Now you have an angel who knows you personally. Try to stay strong and keep the faith!

Michele (Gracie's mom)HLHS

Anonymous said...

TO OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN SCOTT AND REBECCA AND LITTLE WYATT. YOU ARE ALL SUCH A BLESSING TO US AND YOUR EVER GROWING FAITH IS A CONSTANT INSPIRATION TO US. BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN SO FAITHFUL TO THIS BLOG THAT HAS TOUCHED MORE PEOPLE THEN YOU WILL EVER KNOW MY PRAYER IS THAT IT WILL CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU DAILY AS WELL. I HAVE TO SHARE THIS MOMENT WITH YOU BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR ANGEL ANNABELLE WHO SO SOFTLY AND TENDERLY TOUCHED ME THROUGH A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY YESTERDAY. I WAS OUTSIDE WORKING WITH MY PLANTS IN THE AFTERNOON AND THE BUTTERFLY FLUTTERED JUST ABOVE MY HEAD BUT LIT EVER SO LIGHTLY JUST LONG ENOUGH TO TOUCH MY HAIR AND FILL MY WHOLE BEING WITH SUCH LOVE AND PEACE BEFORE FLITTERING OFF TO TOUCH SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE. I KNOW IT WAS HER BECAUSE I WAS THINKING OF HER AND PRAYING FOR YOU WHEN THIS HAPPENED. SO THE LOVE YOU FILLED ANNABELLE WITH IN YOUR SHORT TIME WITH HER CONTINUES TO BE SHARED BY HER FOR ETERNITY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WHO YOU ARE AND FOR LOVING OUR LORD SO MUCH. MUCH LOVE AND PRIDE ALWAYS. DIANE HEROD

All In Lexington said...

Rebecca,

I have been thinking about ya'll constantly over the last 2 weeks. I am inspired by your faith in the face of such heartbreak and know that so many others are as well! We will continue to pray for all of you daily.

Love,
Rebekah Flanagan

The Gandy Family said...

Your faith is so amazing. I am so touched by your faithfulness. I just shared your comments with my boss at work, and I told her, I do not know that I would have that much strength. We worship and honor the same Lord and I know with Him, all things are possible adn He is always there. I can not begin to tell you how much closer my prayer life is and daily walks with God are since her precious birth. I thank you for Annabelle as she has brought me back to something I have missed for a few years.
Remember Phillipians 4:13 - "I can do all things through He who strengthens me."

I will continue to remember each of you in prayer. I have never experienced the loss of a child and that is great fear of mine as a mother. But, God calms all fears and carries you when you feel like know one can help. God bless you and take care.

In Christ,
Leigh Ann Gandy

Anonymous said...

Rebecca,
Oh Rebecca, how God is using your time of sorrow for a time of healing and revelation for many. Your testimony is amazing and not understood by many who read your blog. Only Christ our Savior can give you and Scott such strength and comfort during this time of pain and emptiness. My heart still hurts for you as you deal with the loss of precious Annabelle. What sweet memories you have from the day before her death (part of God's plan). May you all continue to rest in His amazing arms of love and find exactly what you need from Him alone.
Love the Kirkpatricks

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, Scott & Wyatt,
What a blessing you all are to all who know you and read your story! God definitely has a special plan for such a special family. You all continue to be in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Love,
Rebecca, Jason, Andrew & Samuel Berry

Anonymous said...

You are so amazing! You are such an inspiration to us. You have shown so much faith in this hard time in your life. If only everyone had a much faith as you do. We pray for you everyday and think of you always. God will give you the strength to make through the next few months. We love you!
Love,
Marshall, Leah, and Carolina French

~Sara~ said...

So beautiful. We pray for you daily.

Heart hugs and prayers,

The Wallaces
Sara, Tim, Kaeleigh, Avery, & Kaden

SLH of SC

Anonymous said...

What a priviledge to be Annabelle's parents and Big Brother. God's plan is certainly divine, he knew exactly what he was doing when he gave her to you, even for a short time. I am just in awe of your family and more so of our almightly God. We continue to pray for you guys and Annabelle. And thank you for sharing your story. Jack & Jean Brklich

Anonymous said...

The strength and faith that you have is absolutely inspiring to each and every one of us!!! It brings a smile to my face and a sense of amazment to my mind to know that you can find a flicker of peace through all of your pain!
We pray for each of you every single day.
Heart Hugs and Much Love!!!

Betsey, Cooper, and Russell Russell

Anonymous said...

Dear Rebecca...thank you for your courage. Sharing your memories of Annabelle's last day is a tremendous gift to all who know you, love you, and are praying for you.

God bless you, Scott, and Wyatt.
Linda W.

tompkins family said...

Dear Butcher Family,

We are continuing to check Annabelle's blog. Thank you so much for the new picture of Annabelle. We hope that you will continue to show us some of the pictures you took of her. You all are in our thoughts and prayers daily. Your strength and faith are truly examples for all of us. Please continue to share whatever you can with us.

Tompkins Family
Mt. Pleasant, SC

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, your strength during this time amazes me. You are truly an inspiration to everyone. To have you as a part of our family is a blessing. Although we haven't met, I really look forward to it. You, Scott and Wyatt are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love you all, Andrea Howell (WI relative)

TPB said...

Rebecca, Scott, and Wyatt,

Thank you all so much for allowing the world to share such private moments with you; those of joy and those of grief. Thank you for continuing to share even in the midst of your sorrow. While some of the stories break my heart, at the same time I smile at them--- they are truly bittersweet memories. I'm so grateful to tangibly see how the Lord is upholding you. May His peace fall on you daily and strengthen each of you until you are united with Him and your precious Annabelle in Heaven.

love tiffany and the bennett boys

Anonymous said...

Scott, Rebecca, and Wyatt-

You continue to amaze us with your awesome faith and trust in God. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts and story with us. You truly inspire us with your words and strong faith. Our hearts continue to hurt for your loss of Annabelle, and we continue to lift your family up to God daily so that He will continue to wrap His loving arms around you and help you heal. We will continue to pray and think of you daily.

In Christ's Love-
Shannon, Abbie, and Elijah Marsh

The Hardy Family said...

Rebecca,
As I write with tears in my eyes I am just so amazed and inspired by you. In the midst of the most difficult time in your life you give God the glory and touch so many people's life through your testimony of His faithfulness. You, Scott and Wyatt have been and will continue to be in my prayers and on my heart. I'm always here for you!
Love,
Lea

Anonymous said...

Rebecca,
I feel so blessed that I have been able to follow your story through reading your blog. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your life with others. Your never failing faith and belief in God's ultimate plan for your life has taught me so much and helped me in so many ways in my daily life. Baby Annabelle has already touched more people in her short life than most of us do in many years. I will continue to pray for you and your family to find a true peace.
God Bless,
Heather Sansbury

marty said...

What a comfort it is for those of us who have gotten to know the beautiful family of Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt and Annabelle Butcher from far away as i have, to be able to know of the last wonderful memories shared by each of you of Annabelle. Thank you so much, Rebecca, for taking the time to relay to everyone those private moments and to once again share your strong faith that has touched so many, including myself. We may never see each other on this earth but I know one day, in our beautiful Home called Heaven, I will get to know each of you. I have lost a child so I know the hurt that is in your heart and i also know the comfort of knowing the joy of having her with Her Jesus in Heaven. Thank you again for all the times you wrote to us and know so many continue to lift your family in prayer as my husband and I do(and many friends) from here in North Carolina. "Suffer the little children to come unto me.." Much love, Marty Warren

The Andersens said...

my heart breaks for your little family. but i am so glad that you were able to have and share those special moments with her. those must mean the world to you know i'm sure. your family's faith is amazing and an example to so many people. you're in our prayers.
love the andersens

Anonymous said...

Dear Rebecca, Scott, and Wyatt,
Do you truly know what an inspiration you are to all of us who are blessed enough to read your words? I don't know that you ever truly can. Your faith in God's divine plan will always be a beacon of truth to me, and I will ALWAYS remember your level of faith and trust in Him in my times of need, trying with all of my might to replicate it. You must know how much prayers are being lifted for your beautiful family. We all continue to hurt for you as you continue to heal.
With much love and awe,
Dene Johnston

Linda said...

Rebecca,
I was thinking about you and your family and decided to check the blog.What a lovely tribute and a testimony that each little life is to be treasured. I will continue to pray for you, Scott,Wyatt, and the extended family.
Love,
Linda Green

The Frick's said...

God's peaceful whisper has reached so many lives through your family's steadfast hope and confidence in our Savior's sovereignty. Our family has been deeply touched by His Spirit in you. His Kingdom has been strengthened and expanded directly as a result of your obedience and submission to Him during this journey. God's blessings upon each of you during this time of healing and we love you very much.

The Frick family

Branton Family said...

I wanted to let you know how touched I have been by your Annabelle. God has used her to touch so many lives. I have a little boy who is gearing up for open heart surgery next month. He is 2 months old, and I am reminded by your story just how precious life is. I don't know what my family would do if we didn't have our faith in Christ, and I am touched by your walk with Him as well. I pray God gives you comfort and peace. I look forward to meeting your Annabelle in heaven someday! Amy Branton

Ashley said...

MY name is Ashley and I am a friend of Heidi and Danny Mcmillan. They have a little boy Tyler with HLHS. I just wanted to let you know that I am in awe of your strenght and courage. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. My heart aches for you, but know that I will keep you and your in my prayers. The Lord's work IS divine. Your faith is helping me and so many others learn and grow when it comes to struggles and how much the Lord loves us and is with us always. Thank you and take care...

Em said...

My heart goes out to yours. Your faith is refreshing and it help us all. My angels are Lilly and Ryker. Ryker too earned his wings after a courageous battle with HLHS and too was taken quickly and so suddenly. Please know that you are an amazing family and thank-you for sharing Annabelle with all of us!
Hugs,
Emily Gourley