{Sweet Baby Grace}

I learned shortly after being matched with Andie-Grace that her orphanage had a nutrition assistance program through Love Without Boundaries.  They told me to contact them once we returned home from finalizing the adoption for some baby photos that they had taken of her during their visits.  I made the request a couple of weeks after returning home and was so blessed to receive some never before seen photos of our girl. 

On the upside of things, we learned that our girl was born with a head full of standing up straight black hair!  I had a feeling that she had hair when she was born as it's so full and thick and grows so quickly. 

But....as I made my way through the rest of the photos...

My heart broke even more getting a glimpse into her first 15 months without us.  She was so, so sad.  The look of hopelessness doesn't fade in these photos and they are hard to digest.

I also got updated measurements on her and learned some alarming facts.  One thing that stood out is that between the time she was brought to the orphanage at about 2 weeks old until their next visit the following March {about four months later} she only gained half a pound.  Let that sink in a bit...half a pound in the first four months of life.  She should have nearly doubled her birth weight by that point which was likely somewhere around 7 pounds or more.

I immediately thought of my other babies and how quickly they'd plump up in those first months after birth.  Brokenness again for an infant that wasn't being fed, nourished, rocked, held, loved.

I literally have to stop and remind myself these days of the truth of her life before being a part of our family.  It's so easy to forget when she is giggling at her brothers, toddlering around and trying to open kitchen cabinets in her ever curious little way.   I pray I never forget the sadness in her eyes that these photos show.  I pray I always meet her needs, lavish her with love and speak life to her soul. 

I know one day I'll show her these photos {and the few more that we were given} and she'll have so many questions.  Oh my heart breaks at the questions I will never be able to answer.  I pray that she will find peace with her beginning and joy in her future.

My sweet baby Grace, God was stirring our hearts for you long before we knew it...may you never have this sadness in your eyes again, my love.  We are together now and forever.

You are home now, baby girl...