Friday, May 9, 2008

A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Sweetest Annabelle,

Did the angels kiss you goodnight?

It is your bedtime here on earth. I know that there is no darkness in heaven. Do you still take a nap? Do you go down for a rest? You love to be held and Mommy could rarely get you to sleep anywhere but on me or your Daddy. Mommy and Daddy would hold you all day if you wanted us to. Do the angels hold you when you need a nap? I hope they do. I pray you are held all the time. As I was putting your big brother to bed tonight, I asked him about what he thought you were doing in heaven. He said that he knew you were happy there. I asked him what he wants to do when he sees you in heaven, he wants to "hold you every day". He loves you so, sweet girl.

I dream of your time in heaven and what fun you must be having. I wonder if my Mommy, your Grandmommy, is rocking you. I imagine she has made you a beautiful smocked dress made with gold thread. I imagine she has the most beautiful bows adorning your precious and anointed head, my baby. You will always be my angelic daughter with deep blue eyes that share your strength and wisdom far beyond your precious little time on earth.

Annabelle, you know Mommy misses you immensely and cannot wait to hold you again. God has promised me that there is no pain or hurt in heaven. From His promises, I know that you are safe and your heart is healed completely. I praise God that you will never face any more surgeries or medications, no more struggling to eat and no more needles, my precious child. God has made you perfect in heaven... you always will be to me.

Oh sweetest baby girl, do you run and play now? Do you have friends in heaven? Do you sit at Jesus' feet and listen to His stories? I bet they are much better than the stories that I could ever share with you. I remember the first book that I read to you in PCICU when you were two days old. It was late at night and your Daddy was sitting beside you holding your little hand. I read you "Gigi, God's Little Princess". You seemed to enjoy it although the alarms did go off once while I was reading to you. Your little heart raced a bit...you continued to sleep peacefully. Do you remember that story? I knew from the moment that God gave us our porcelain heart baby that you were His princess. We were honored to be your Mommy and Daddy. I will always be honored and eternally grateful for the gift of loving you, my Bella Boo.

Do you remember staring so much while you were with us on earth, angel baby? Just a day before you flew to Jesus' arms, Mommy noticed you staring at a picture of my Mommy. You were just cooing and kicking your chubby little legs at her like you knew her all along. I never realized that laying you on your changing table would give you the perfect view of her. Mommy and Daddy thought that maybe your medicine made you stare. I think you were staring at angels, your angels. Did you see them watching you? Did you know they would carry you home to be with Jesus? Is my Mommy one of them taking care of you and loving you today? I think she is. She loved to doll me up just as much I love to doll you up. Grandaddy says that I am a lot like her in those ways. She was the best mommy to me. Isn't she the best Grandmommy Angel to you, beautiful baby girl?

In just two short days, it will be Mother's Day here on earth. I will think of my two amazing children and the gift that you both have given me in being your mommy. I will dwell on the love that I have for both of you. The love that will never fade but only grow in the memories and time that we share. It will be a hard day for Mommy without you to hold in my arms, but I will always hold you in my heart. You have made me stronger. You have taught me how to love deeper. I love your Daddy and your big brother more because of you loving me. Do you know how much I love you? Do you remember your Daddy calling you "Sugar"? He did, my angel, because you are the sweetest baby girl.

Did the angels kiss you goodnight? I asked them to...for me.

Love forever~ Mommy

15 comments:

Johanna said...

What a beautiful letter to your sweet baby girl. I have tears rolling down my cheeks. I know angels are kissing sweet Annabelle tonight. Happy Mother's day!

Love,
Johanna

Anonymous said...

Happy Mother's Day, Rebecca, what a special message to your beautiful girl. I will pray for you on Sunday to feel God's love and the special love you share with Scott, Wyatt and Annabelle all around you. Love, Laurie Epting

Erica May said...

Rebecca, my eyes are full of tears! My heart goes out to you so much and I wish there was something I could do to help heal the hurt! God did promise us that there will be no more hurt and sickness in heaven and I know Annabelle is so glad to not be in the hospital and she won't have to go through any of that any more! We continue to pray for you and I have talked to Emerson many times about her "heart sister" Annabelle. I wish you comfort and love on this Mother's Day! I know your mom is looking down and is so proud of you!!!
love,
Erica

Anonymous said...

Happy Mother's Day. You are an amazing woman. What a beautiful letter...

The Hardy Family said...

What a beautiful, sweet letter Rebecca. You are an amazing mother and woman. Happy Mother's Day!
Love,
Lea

Anonymous said...

Rebecca - You were in my thoughts and prayers so much yesterday. What an amazing mother you are! Your letter to Annabelle is absolutely beautiful.

Much love,
Caroline

Mindy M. said...

What a precious letter to a beautiful little girl!! You are such an amazing woman, mother and wife!! Our Heavenly Father knows of our strengths and you are truely one of God's greatest! I pray for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I do not even know you, but I can tell that you are a wonderful mother and stong woman. I just cry ever time I open this website! I am praying for you and your family daily. I will now never look at a butterfly the same! : ) Your daughter is just beautiful and I know that you miss her more than anyone could ever imagine. Take care and may God bless you and your family!

Diana said...

I do not know you but just wanted to say what a beautiful letter writen to a beautiful little girl. I am postives the angels are holding her and giving her a lot of kisses. I am sure my mom is one of those special angels loving her as she was a wonderful grandmother!
Thanks for sharing this and the baskets are wonderful. You are a special women and a amazing mom.

Anonymous said...

My heart aches at how much you love and miss your beautiful daughter. I'm sure she has angels all around her. You are so strong to see the blessings we gain from trials. May you continue to feel peace and the spirit of your daughter everyday!!
Jill

Natalie J said...

That is the sweetest thing I have ever read. I have been following your journey through other Heart babies blogs. Your faith is an inspiration and I am so thankful to be able to witness your strength through your trials. Thank you!

~Sara~ said...

I've read this letter several times over the last few days and just now have the courage to post a comment. Oh Rebecca, how my heart cries out for you! We pray daily for renewed strength and comfort from our Father. Your words are beautiful and your faith so strong. Your precious family continues to touch and uplift me. Thank you for sharing your faith, your feelings, and most of all your precious family. I miss Annabelle dearly even though I never "met" her, she has a place in my heart.

Hugs & Prayers always!

Sara Wallace
www.palmettohearts.org

Em said...

I am so glad you got the first set of baskets out! I ordered knee highs to make the headbands a month ago, and the lady still has not sent them to me. So I think I will just send you the bows that I have had done for the last month and then when I get the knee highs, I will send some. Do you mind emailing me your address? My email is emilygourley@gmail.com.
Thanks,
Emily

Anonymous said...

Rebecca,
You have a gift with words, and I appreciate so much you sharing your love for Annabelle with all of us! I am so inspired by how you are pushing through this, and bringing strength to us all, when really it should be the other way around! It was good to see your face at church Sunday! I have missed seeing your bright smile each week. I hope you are doing well today! My love to you, Scott and Wyatt!
Dene

Anonymous said...

Rebecca,

This was my first time coming to visit Annabelle's page. Your letter was so touching that it brought tears to my eyes just like the others. I wanted you to know that you, Scott and Wyatt have been in my prayers. She is well loved and protected in God's arms for all eternity. I cannot tell you enough how wonderful, strong and brave you are to me! Happy Belated Mother's day and much love to your family!

Love, Emily Cooper