Saturday, February 23, 2008

Reflection

It's hard to believe that 4 weeks ago Scott, Wyatt and a very pregnant me were packing up and on our way to Charleston to add Annabelle to our family. I had no idea just how much my life would change in such a short period of time. We were fortunate enough to know about Annabelle's fragile little heart and to prepare ourselves and our family the best that we could. We knew that she would be born and wisked away to be stablized. We knew she would have to have a very delicate open heart surgery within her first week of life. We knew that there would be a long recovery and many other hurdles to endure. We know that she still has at least two more surgeries that will continue to fix her heart to a somewhat normal function. We have been changed even more through enduring all of this and much more with her. What we didn't know is just how much God would allow all of this to glorify Him. We have been blessed by knowing that our daughter is touching your lives and strengthening your relationship with Christ. She has done that for us since August 23, 2007 when we first learned that she would be born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. I sobbed for months over knowing what she would face. It just isn't fair for an infant to come into this world having to fight as hard as she has. These first weeks of her life should have been spent rejoicing over her birth and celebrating with friends and family. She should have been at home within days and I should have had every moment since her birth to bond and love her. Her skin should be without a blemish and without scars that display the battles she has fought. God has different plans for her. He has used all of her pain, hurt and fear for His purpose. Eventually, we will be home and we will bond as a family. She will know that she is loved immensely. Her scars will tell others of her strength and of God's Plan for her life. I wish I understood His Plan and why He has allowed our daughter to go through so much. What I have to remind myself is that even if I did know, I would still not understand it all. God refines all of us daily in many different ways. This is His way of refining our family once again so that others see Him. That is all that we have to know or understand. To God be the Glory, Great things He has done!

4 comments:

The Hardy Family said...

Rebececa, thank you for being such an incredible witness to everyone who reads your blogs. You just don't know how much you touch each of us and bring encouragement to us about just how awesome, faithful, all-knowing, etc. our God is. Annabelle's sweet little life and all she is enduring is a huge testimony. It is so hard to know why God does what He does but your faith and trust in Him is enough to know that He knows what is best for all of us. You are amazing person (just like your mom was)...I've always thought that about you since the day we met over 15 years ago. You are an amesome mom and I look so forward to the day when I see you with BOTH of your children together, here in Columbia!
I love you!
Lea

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, Dr. Carney's message today was about When God says "No", and sometimes one of the reasons is to further His kingdom. I immediately thought of your family. I know you would give anything for her to have been spared all this. I am amazed at the testimony and faith of your family through this crisis, and I marvel at the witness and the glory He is being given through your interviews with CNN and the local paper, not to mention this blog. You are in my prayers daily.
Love, Laura Phipps

The Gandy Family said...

Your faith is huge a testimony. It is hard for any parent to hand their child back over to God and say let Your Will be done. You have touched my life in more ways than one. We are in the same sunday school class and I sat in front of you in the Christmas musical. All along, your strength has touched me and made my walk stronger. I will continue to pray that Annabelle will be able to drink enough from the bottle. Her body will heal, and scars fade some. And God will do wonders in her life and and pull her through it. Continue to be strong and we all can't wait till you get to come home. Your church family misses you all.

Anonymous said...

Your words are so full of emotion. All the feelings I felt with Kaden I just read in your post. She will be a testimony to the healing power of our God! Take heart and know that He is always with you and your precious family. We pray for you always! Lots of love and hugs from the Wallace house.